Email: Communication and dating [MA]

Hm I never thought of it in that way: that wanting to be understood 100% of the time made me unusual. To tell the truth, I wish the rest of the world was like me that way.

It seems like most men prefer the Barbie look, the semi-model look, the high cheekbones look and finely coiffed hair. Well I prefer the girl-next-door look, the writer/academic look, the intelligent look. I'm a sucker for the 1960s wire-rim and granny glasses -- plus the 1990s severe and half-height hornrims. I would have nothing to talk about with the cuties and beauties. I find much more attractive a beauty that doesn't need hours of primping and preparation in order to attain. (Have you seen that photo of Cameron Diaz without makeup? Yikes!)

I think most men are perfunctory in the online dating department. I believe they do have lists of qualities and whoever meets that taxonomy is "in." They have no interest in you as a unique person with a mind and heart and opinions. With this crowd, it is about their needs. Just for the record, I don't run with that crowd. In fact, I attend the rival school of thought. Don't play their game; define the game the way you want it to be. Anyone who doesn't play your game the right way is perfectly welcome to take his "bat" and go home alone.

Chemistry and an initial decision for compatibility can definitely only come in a face-to-face meeting. Just remember, the ones who are "trolling" for a "catch" are unfortunately interested in only one thing. Like a sand sieve, let the shallow ones slip through your fingers; you lose nothing if they don't want to meet you. It doesn't matter if a hundred men walk by you uninterested. As I often say to single men and women who are dating, "You just need one!"