Email: Cheesy church counselors [JB]

It's sometimes good to go to a church or pastoral counselor but only a professionally trained one and this one is clearly not, if she went to the pastor and betrayed your confidences without your permission; and neither is he behaving ethically, if he told other members, who told your children, and then you were "pushed out of the church" as you say. That goes against everything that professional ethics dictate for the counseling and pastoral professions.

In general, one would like to assume that ethical practices would be followed, but in practice, I suggest that counselees not only verify that a counselor is professionally certified, but that you question the counselor to verify under what conditions he or she will hold your confidences. Get a clear promise of confidentiality under all conditions or take a walk. These nimrods cast a blemish on the majority of counselors and pastors who are utterly professional and ethically above reproach.