Academe: Evaluation of low resistivity pay in carbonates

Somehow I think an academic paper with this title (though about the petrochemical industry) could be applied to the arena of sexual politics, if the debate reached low enough:

Evaluation of Low Resistivity Pay in Carbonates

What do you think?

Prostitutes as Carbon-Based Life Forms
The Economies of Dating: More Bang for the Buck
Carbonics: Linguistic and Economic Dynamics of Lower-Class Carbon-Based Life Forms
The Low-Carb Diet and the Low-Diet Carb

Any more suggestions?