Twerpette (named for my dachshund Molley, the original twerpette or "goofy girl") seeks to tweak the long nose of life with humor, affection, and gravitas. Topics include dating and relationships, faith and spirituality, language and writing, journalism, technology, arts, academe, whimsy and humanity. Cheeky and tweaky, Twerpette is rated PG13 for mature language and themes. This weblog began May 10, 2005. Copyright 2005-2016 Steve Deyo.
Would you prefer a partner who laughs at all of your jokes but doesn't understand you so well, or a partner who understands you very well but doesn't laugh at all of your jokes?
posted by Twerpette @ 8:44 AM
6 comments
Technology journalist, strategic communications consultant, speaker, teacher, author, poet, musician; known to friends and associates as "the voice of reason."
6 Comments:
It is possible to have a partner who laughs at all your jokes and understands you...you just have to start praying for him/her...continue to pray for him/her...and never stop praying for him/her! And...be able to laugh with each other...Always!
Notice I said "with" and not "at"!
xoxoxo
That's a very simplistic presentation. A partner will understand you or they will accept you as you are without completly understanding. God, in His wisdom, hearing all the prayers in the world will not change a person. They are who they are when you know them and they will not change inside for anybody.
Of course it is possible to have a partner who understands you and laughs with you. But the didactic purpose of constructing a dichotomy (call it a straw horse if you wish) is when it helps others perceive comparative value, make choices, or set priorities (for the multitude of life circumstances that do not occur in equal balance).
I suspect that the one who understands you would likely come to appreciate and enjoy your kind of humor and laugh at the jokes. People do that, as they come closer and know each other better, their outlooks and views tend to converge, so why not their senses of humor?
But would the one who laughs at the jokes, but does not understand you, grow into understanding you? A much riskier proposition. And tragic if it doesn't happen. I can't imagine someone actually being a true partner who did not "get me." I think it belies the entire definition of a partner.
My vote would be for the one who understands me as I think that person and I would clearly have the vital potential to grow together in all senses - including sharing humor and laughter.
I agree with your assessment. It's almost a parallel dichotomy to one in a discussion I had with DL in Minnesota 20 years ago: He said it's better to be socially adaptable than smart. I said I'd rather be smart, because I can always learn to adapt socially (esp. if I am smart), but you can't increase your IQ.
I thought of this comment of yours today (rather be smart than socially adaptable if one had to choose) when I wrote a friend about what I sought in a man. I wrote that, above all, I needed someone humble and honorable -- ASSUMING, of course, that the man was very smart, as I needed that first before I could consider anything else about him. And that is when I thought of what you wrote and mused, yes, one must begin with the smarts . . .
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