Twerpette (named for my dachshund Molley, the original twerpette or "goofy girl") seeks to tweak the long nose of life with humor, affection, and gravitas. Topics include dating and relationships, faith and spirituality, language and writing, journalism, technology, arts, academe, whimsy and humanity. Cheeky and tweaky, Twerpette is rated PG13 for mature language and themes. This weblog began May 10, 2005. Copyright 2005-2016 Steve Deyo.
Talking about things is what makes a good couple; how can anyone become a good couple if they don't even talk about whether they want to continue on the path to become a good couple?
posted by Twerpette @ 7:21 AM
8 comments
Technology journalist, strategic communications consultant, speaker, teacher, author, poet, musician; known to friends and associates as "the voice of reason."
8 Comments:
Talking is key as long as it is really honest and heart-felt. Sometimes people might be afraid to really bare their soul...there has to be trust and understanding.
Hi Steve,
Yes, of course talking is so important. Or if not to the actual talking phase yet, typing out your thoughts in an e-mail interchange. The willingness to be known and the desire to know are at the heart of relationship development.
Alessandra in Oklahoma
Although communication and "talking" is essential in any relationship...there is a reason why it is said that "Talk is cheap"- words can be sputtered from any lips with intentions that can be for good or bad and can never be taken back once said. I truly believe that "actions speak louder than words" and a kind gesture between two people that love and care for each other can mean more than any words ever spoken from one's mouth. I love the song by Keith Whiley that says, "When you say nothing at all" because two people that love each other, whether it is a husband & wife, parent & child, etc...should be able to communicate without the spoken word.
The song is by Keith Whitley-(sorry about the typo) redone by Alison Krause, I believe.
Allison Krauss re-did it:
"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart,
without saying a word, you can light up the dark.
Try as I may I could never explain
what I hear when you don't say a thing.
The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall...
Now you say it best, when you say nothing at all." xoxo
The most comments on any post here ever! Funny how men will talk about anything but a relationship while talk about same draws women out of the woodwork. (Bad metaphor, ignore it.) Sputtered is a good word. Yes, it's a poetic and romantic conceit that if a couple is really close, they don't need words because they "truly" (intuitively) understand each other -- but true understanding also requires reason and communication. No partner can be accountable for what was not communicated (a two-way street). A concert pianist may seem to play effortlessly, but a flawless artistic performance generally requires extensive discipline and rehearsal, just as an apparently effortless relationship does in fact require hard work and commitment behind the scenes.
I think, as far as any relationship is concerned, that communication is very important. But I also believe that as the relationship develops, so does the "romantic silence", one might say. As things are discussed and resolved, a rehashing can only cause further misunderstandings or chances for miscommunication. If the couple is able to get to the ‘true’ base of the conversation, this ‘rehashing’ can be avoided.
As far as communication itself is concerned, just as with teaching a child an academic skill, a strong base must be built before any growth can be developed. The great pyramids are a perfect example. A relationship can develop into a couple's own 'wonder of their own world' if they have a strong base to build upon!
This base holds key ingredients that are found in any friendship: Trust, (first and foremost), belief in a future together (even if platonic), caring (not only for the other, but for one’s self), learning (which includes learning how to communicate with each other), and growth (of self and the relationship).
One of the greatest pyramid blocks placed upon the base would respect. There must be respect for each within the relationship for their particular needs, whether that is a bit of communication or a bit of silence. A block placed next to that would be one of love. For everyone needs to know they are loved by their partner, at whatever level of love that may be, and however (through communication) the love is understood by both.
Very nicely put!
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