Saturday, June 23, 2007

Email: Quiet desperation [EH]

Yes, we all probably want to get married. It does take time but I think the important thing is to be happy with where and who we are right now -- or else we are actually trying to flee our present state of life -- and desperation is never a useful state of mind. I don’t think anyone can make a healthy marriage decision unless he or she can truly go either way -- stay single or marry this person.

Do not join True! I have heard numerous stories of married men listing themselves there (from women who stumbled on them the hard way) and once their ads started resembling soft porn, I knew they had compromised their stated principles (for example, prechecking marital status).

Bottom line, PLEASE DO NOTHING OUT OF DESPERATION. Get a grip and find your happiness where you are now. Bloom where you are planted. Be very good to yourself. Discover your inner joy. This is the path I am convinced will lead [anyone] to be ready to receive the desires of [their] heart.


At 5:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a smart man and although I'm not sure who you are speaking to (in some of your emails) I appreciate what you have to say.

Unless we are content with our own lives, there is no need to drag someone else in and possibly down. I must love myself before I can love someone else. When I am happiest, that's when the good things all happen. But I think we must practice contentment in order to be content (ie happy). My current favorite quote, by Hugh Downs:

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."

Women do tend to give too much of themselves away, by compromising, more than they should. Having a difference of opinion is not a bad thing in a relationship. Just a fact. It is the differences we should celebrate, they are what make us unique.

I love what you said about forgetting the frogs. There are a lot of frogs, but there are also princes out there too.

Thanks for you positive approach and wise words.



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