Email: Online dating indeed [EH]

I have always been a poetic dreamer. Now I see you can make grave errors by not being realistic [enough]. In fact, being realistic and communicating candidly together form the clearest path to happiness.

Finding the right person is all about dealing with the truth, not assumption or fantasy or wishful thinking. The fastest way to disillusionment is to think something is so when it is not, or that someone is a certain way who is not.

Romance is a spice, not the batter (main ingredient).

It's a relief to find how God has "protected" a person from this or that tortuous circumstance or consequence (such as an online dating disaster), but I think he wants us to become wise enough to intuit and to avoid the tiger traps by ourselves. Learning to drive safely doesn't mean driving like a goose while trusting to luck and providence; it means maintaining control of the vehicle while having the experience to foresee and avoid possible accidents.

Dating is rarely a rational process, however, so establishing good habits and boundaries ahead of time -- and possessing the wherewithal to maintain them -- is not only wise but safe.