Internet: You Know You're Addicted to Coffee...

These are the ones I can do sometimes even without coffee:


You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When...

You answer the door before people knock.

Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze.

You grind coffee beans in your mouth.

You can type sixty [plus] words per minute -- with [two fingers].

You don't sweat... you percolate.

You short out [computers].

People [used to] get dizzy just watching you.

The nurse needs a [stopwatch] to take your pulse.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You don't need a hammer to [push] in nails.

You go to [church] just for the free coffee.

You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

You lick your coffee[cup] clean.

You ski uphill.

You speak perfect [sounding] Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

You'd be willing to spend time in [Colombia].

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low [on some work shifts].

You're so wired, you pick up [or emulate] AM radio [even both sides of a talk-radio program].

You've worn out the [sippy hole] on your favorite mug.

You take your morning coffee with you in the shower.

Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to coffee.