Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Email: Slouching toward Bethlehem [JB]

I've heard of men sexually abandoning their partners after marriage and preferring solo sex or porn or worse; I don't know what that's about, other than something is clearly deficient and needs to change or be changed. In your case, his bringing home gay porn suggests he was dishonest about more than one thing. Why would he marry you unless he wanted a sham marriage as a cover story? Your second ex did the same but added a sham religion.

I don't think it's dating services or dating itself that causes one to be offended and critical, I think it's making bad choices about dating partners. That's why I talk to anyone who dates in the first place: We have all got to get better at choosing partners (esp. in this day and age) since I believe singles only have so many disillusionments before establishing a pattern. If you can learn and grow, well and good. If you choose to cling to the same behaviors, then God help you, because it seems your friends and I can't.

Getting used to email communications is settling down instead of moving ahead. Email is a tradeoff, so a person who prefers that to more direct communication is hiding or otherwise unavailable to you.

Your alcoholic neighbor who used Eharmony to meet someone who never left her, moved in and married her immediately? She's not going to be a poster couple on those Eharmony commercials.


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