Email: When women date online [JB]

Man what a disappointing crowd of online comers you describe! They just want to meet their needs, not have a truly giving relationship. Yes, the Proverbs 31 thing is too prevalent. (Why don't they just say "barefoot and pregnant"?) It's not that we shouldn't have standards and goals for the character of men as well as women; it's that conservative Christians are so ought-oriented. Make everyone either get with the program or feel like dweebish outcasts if they're not [when it's a social not a moral issue]. Well, God wants variety and diversity, not clones.

I think online dating, like anything technological, raises the bar for what we need to be smart and capable enough to cope with. You say a woman's profile may be looked at by 500 men but "passed over" with no contact or communication; while I think a "Barbie" would be looked at and written to by most of the 500. You have to remember that most men are shallow and seek certain predictable types; so an older woman of substance or quality is not going to attract the majority of men -- nor would you want to or be able to have a conversation with most such guys. Think of it like walking down a NYC street: You don't want to be approached by every single male on the street. I know it's hard when the inquiry ratio is (say) 1 in 100; but you don't want to wade through 99 unsuitable responses -- you only want the one who is serious about writing you. (With any luck, he has even read half of your profile.) In short, if you have brains and an opinion, you don't want anyone who doesn't want you to have brains and an opinion. Keep your wits about you, and you'll do OK. Just watch out for the wolf spiders.