Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Email: Online dating indeed [EH]

I don’t mean requiring an exhaustive compatibility across all personal qualities. Being realistic means not ignoring the important qualities while being romantic means accepting the lesser differences. Both are important, not one to the exclusion of the other, and not romance ahead of realism.

They say [via CM] the lower class prefers quantity of food, the middle class prefers quality of food, and the upper class prefers presentation of food. So, yes, you’d like “a little” romance, but more important would be respect, and more important still would be all the qualities that go with being a true gentleman. Tenderness is not the goal, though it’s a fruit of the bond that develops over time between the right persons. Friends have nicknames but lovers have pet names. Let the relationship lead the romance, not the other way around -- that can become a slippery and irrational slope.


At 9:49 PM, Anonymous bebe said...

I have heard that saying about the classes and food but it is not "prefers," it is "focuses on." Not a huge difference but a difference nonetheless.

But your analogy is a good one. And it goes well with your previous post about romance being a spice but not the batter.

Also - relationship leading the romance rather than the other way around - very good point. A relationship is what it is - nothing more and nothing less. It may be on the way to becoming more, but at each given moment, it should be appreciated and enjoyed for what it is, but not made to carry a load (or title) for which it is not yet ready - which too-heavy weight could crush a budding relationship.


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