Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Questions: Better to have loved and lost?

I suspect that it is men who came up with "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." It seems as if many women would rather "never to have loved at all" if their current love does not become permanent.

Another question: How does anyone know in advance whether a love can become permanent?

2 Comments:

At 11:17 PM, Anonymous pookie said...

There is no such thing as a "current love" for a truly loving woman. For a woman, love is permanent or it is not worthy of the name of love at all. It may be fondness, affection, desire, lust, friendship or caring, but if it is not eternal, it is not love.

"A love" does not "become permanent" but rather permanence is an essential characteristic of real love. One can wonder if a romatic RELATIONSHIP with a particular person will be permanent but not if a love will. Because if it truly is love, it WILL BE permanent, regardless of what happens to the romantic relationship. One either loves eternally or not at all.

 
At 12:36 AM, Anonymous pookie said...

"In advance"? One can't know "in advance" whether one will love another. But if one is seeking true love, then let him seek someone that he feels he can see himself with for life. One may be wrong, but I think that within two dates at the most, one can either imagine (positively) spending one's days with a person or knows that no, I can't imagine growing old with this person. And if you can't see that potential, then the romantic relationship is not likely to become permanent and one can then choose to stay in it anyway (for whatever temporary pleasure one is seeking) or to not stay in it (if one's goal is true love).

Look for the person that you think you could spend your whole life with. This means character and compatibility over beauty, wealth, excitement or prominence. You can't know in two dates whether you can spend your life with a person, but I think you can know within two dates if someone is a person that you CAN'T see yourself growing old with. So if "till death do us part" is what you are really seeking, don't spend months in a relationship with someone who is fun to date (or keeps you company or gives you sex) but is not someone you could see yourself spend the next 50 years with (because then you are just cheating yourself of the opportunity to be with someone you do have a future with and just using the person that you do not).

 

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