Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Email: Writing down the bones [CC]

I'm pretty adaptable to the weather. Maybe I was a chameleon in a prior life.

Yes, writing down the bones of one's thoughts and emotions esp. regarding past relationships is almost like therapy (for oneself or for others). As a writer, I know the difference between journaling and journalism; writing for therapeutic self-expression and writing for communication to others. Each requires constant judgment calls and integrity; errors in judgment can occur. You only want to put down what is true, and to share what is appropriate. Writing is about pushing boundaries while respecting them; it's kind of how our children are always testing their boundaries in order to grow. Playing it safe and sitting in silence is no way to live.

I'm glad you agree about your long-distance beau. Romance is easy to conjure and consume in three-day doses, but any successful relationship generally requires the couple to be in the same city, or ideally the same room, for extended periods of time. ;-)

So you found all the other men who have approached you, refused to consider a non-sexual dating relationship? See, I hear this every day and I have for years, and so I think this is the problem: Most men do not want to actually get to know women as persons. Most women (and some men) are capable of maintaining emotionally rich relationships; but most men (and some women) seem to be uninterested in or even incapable of doing so.

Forget the "men are wolves" crap, because wolves mate for life in nature; but the idea of these wild men being "mongrels" just about describes it. (The monster-loner-outlaw theme of Beowulf applies here.) While we're on the subject of "alpha males," most people don't know that "alpha females" are more dominant in the wild -- and in society. I now notice human territoriality everywhere I turn. It's amazing to me how truly at odds our Judeo-Christian faith is with our human nature (even among people who think of themselves as faithful believers).

You are different, I am different... And that's a good thing. (Sorry, Martha.)


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