Websites: The Velveeta Rabbit

The Transformation Story Archive: "'What is REAL?' asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the hot water tap, before Dinah came to tidy the kitchen. 'Does it mean costing eighty-three dollars an ounce and tasting nasty?'

'Real isn't how much you cost,' said the Cabernet Sauvignon. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child waits to eat you for a long, long time, not just to eat, but to REALLY savor you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

'Sometimes,' said the Cabernet Sauvignon, for he was always well-tempered. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

'Does it happen all at once, like being popped into the microwave,' he asked, 'or bit by bit, like being broiled?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Cabernet Sauvignon. 'Microwaves NEVER cook anything that tastes real. Good food takes a long time. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your coloring has changed, most of your flavoring has been replaced with herbs and spices, and you have silly little bits of parsley on your head. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be unappetizing, except to people who prefer fast food.'

'I suppose you are Real?' said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Cabernet Sauvignon a little transparent. But the Cabernet Sauvignon only smiled.

'The Boy's parents made me Real,' he said. 'That was a great many years ago, when they still babbled in affectionate puppy love to each other, but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.'"