Neologisms: ass-whollopered

Both Chase Bank and Randalls store locations are completely ass-whollopered when you view their Sugar Land locations on their websites; if you call each establishment, because the map is clearly jacked, real locations are actually miles from where the map depicts. Ass-whollopered is a blend of whopper-jawed (Southern, like cattywumpus, for skewed) and ass-whooping -- which is what these folks should get for having such poor location search technology, two months into the World Wide Web's 13th year.