Technology: New Microsoft slogans

During the heyday of its antitrust trials, Microsoft aimed for a softer image with the slogan "Where do you want to go today?" Lest we forget the company that monolithically transformed the software industry from a diverse and thriving biosphere into a landscape that consists of one 2-ton gorilla that feels Darwinianly "threatened" by a "competition" that now consists only of a swath of guttersnipes, here are some alternative slogans for the 4,000-pound gorilla in the room:

* Where do you think you want to go?
* Where do you think you would want to go and why would you want to go there, really?
* Where do you want us to lead you?
* Where do you want to be made to go?
* Where do you want us to take you—and for how much?
* Never mind where you want to go—how much money is in your wallet?
* When, where and how high we think you should go—we'll let you know.
* Where we go together is for us to know and for you to pay the bills.
* The future is ours—but we'll let you watch, if you buy a ticket and we feel like it.
* Upgrades! Where do you want us to send your data's ransom note?
* You created your data but we can take it away. Who's tough now?
* Come now. We mean it. Stand over here and hold this palm frond for us.
* Let them eat unpeeled grapes.