Weblogs: Microsoft spoofs Apple TV ads

(MPR: wavLength: Microsoft spoofs Apple TV ads YouTube video link)

Weblogs: Movie - The Lake House

Movie: The Lake House - Kristina’s Book Blog: "The Lake House is the American film adaptation of the South Korean film Siworae (and its international English title is Il Mare). Siworae is based on a novella of the same name by an author named Jiro Asada (according to IMDb). Good luck finding the book, or its English translation — I haven’t been able to find it."

News: Taco Bell, now more repulsive than ever

(E. coli blame raises farmers' ire - Houston Chronicle)

"Taco Bell has declined to name its previous suppliers. It said the lettuce was grown in the West but refused say where."

(I used to eat at Taco Bell every 2-3 years, then taste the food and remember, "Oh yeah -- this is why I don't eat at Taco Bell." Well, now Taco Bell is disgusting for a bigger reason than its food: It's been refusing all these weeks to cooperate in the federal health investigation into E. coli that sickened more than 70 people!)

Proverbs: Holiness had nothing to do with it

With a nod to Mae West and Peter Boyle, I'd like to respond to mal mots such as "Holy crap!" or "Holy s---!" with "Holiness had nothing to do with it!"

Press: Raymond dad Peter Boyle dies in NYC - AP

"Boyle had first come to the public's attention more than a quarter of a century before Raymond, in the critically acclaimed Joe. He met his wife, Loraine Alterman, on the set of Young Frankenstein when she visited as a reporter for Rolling Stone magazine and Boyle, still in monster makeup, asked her for a date. [...]

The son of a local TV personality in Philadelphia, Boyle was educated in Roman Catholic schools and spent three years in a monastery before abandoning his religious studies. He later described the experience as similar to 'living in the Middle Ages.'"

Press: Charlotte's Web still speaks volumes about friendship, love, death - HC

"... the real star of the story is a clever gray spider named Charlotte.

'She's a can-do lady,' says Sandy Farmer, manager of the children's room at the Houston Public Library's central library. 'She doesn't say, "Yep, Wilbur's going to die." She figures out how to save him.

'All kids wish they had the power to change things, and Charlotte shows them a way to do that.'

Press: The season of annual toots from letter-perfect families - HC

(Garrison Keillor via the Houston Chronicle)

"I get a couple dozen Christmas letters a year, and I sit and read them in my old bathrobe as I chow down on Hostess Twinkies. Everyone in the letters is busy as beavers, piling up honors hand over fist, volunteering up a storm, traveling to Beijing, Abu Dhabi and Antarctica; nobody is in treatment or depressed or flunking out of school, though occasionally there is a child who gets shorter shrift. 'Chad is adjusting well to his new school and making friends. He especially enjoys the handicrafts.' How sad for Chad."

Email: Netflix Support

Title request: The Commish, Seasons 3-5

Email: Netflix Support

Title request: Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

Dangisms: Torque it!

Trivia: Ann Winblad, co-alumna

Ann Winblad attended my undergraduate alma mater.

Media: TV - Mystery Science Theater 3000

Trivia: Josh Hartnett, co-alumnus

Josh Hartnett went to my high school -- but he was born three years after I graduated!

Typos: most optimal (most best?)

Humor: Toodles

As she usually says around 5, JS said "Toodles!" So I said "Skedaddle, [Snicker]doodle!"

Typos: assicated (associated)

(In a workgroup email)

Weblogs: Yet another Simpsons movie teaser

(Cinematical) "Yes, another teaser for The Simpsons Movie is circulating online, this being the third official one to debut. However, it's only available in windows media right now (though I assume it will pop up on YouTube soon enough), and so you Mac users are sh*t out of luck. But don't worry my friends, you ain't missing much. The teaser opens the same way the last one did, with that little bunny hopping across a field before cutting to the title card and then to two short clips of Homer trying to hammer a nail onto his roof with Bart alongside him."

(Mac users have a version of Windows Media Player too. I agree, I want more than these dribs and drabs too.)

Press: 'Apocalypto' is an insult to Maya culture, one expert says - AAS

(Austin American-Statesman) "My first reaction was to the extraordinary, gratuitous violence. And the ending with the arrival of the Spanish (conquistadors) underscored the film's message that this culture is doomed because of its own brutality. The implied message is that it's Christianity that saves these brutal savages. I think that's part of Gibson's agenda, sort of, 'We got the Jews last time (in 'The Passion of the Christ'), now we'll get the Maya.' And to highlight that point there's a lot of really offensive racial stereotyping."

Email: Netflix Support

Title request: Kuroi Ame (Black Rain)

Email: Netflix Support

Title request: Armee des ombres (Army of Shadows)

Email: Netflix Support

Title requests: The Christmas Toy (TV), Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas (TV)

Technology: The hug shirt

(via Gizmodo) Here is the first real advance in what is regrettably referred to as teledildonics or tactile virtual reality. (You know the next step will be Huggypants.)

Email: Netflix Support

Title request: Derecho de Familia (2006)

Web: Servers in the movies - Our top ten

Take a trip down nostalgia lane with this list from vibrant.com.

Internet: Brokeback and other movie parodies

You may not be aware that a small cottage industry exists in recut movie trailers.

Dangisms: Humpuckit!

Dangisms: Hockeypuck!

Dangisms: Suck a duck!

Internet: State preambles

Alabama 1901, Preamble. We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution.  Alaska 1956, Preamble. We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.  Arizona 1911, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution.  Arkansas 1874, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government.  California 1879, Preamble. We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom. Colorado 1876, Preamble. We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe.  Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.  Delaware 1897, Preamble. Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences.  Florida 1885, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution.  Georgia 1777, Preamble. We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution.  Hawaii 1959, Preamble. We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance ... Establish this Constitution.  Idaho 1889, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings.  Illinois 1870, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.  Indiana 1851, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government.  Iowa 1857, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings establish this Constitution.  Kansas 1859, Preamble. We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution.  Kentucky 1891, Preamble. We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties.  Louisiana 1921, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.  Maine 1820, Preamble. We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity ... And imploring His aid and direction.  Maryland 1776, Preamble. We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty. Massachusetts 1780, Preamble. We ... the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe ... In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction.  Michigan 1908, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom establish this Constitution.  Minnesota, 1857, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings:  Mississippi 1890, Preamble. We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.  Missouri 1845, Preamble. We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness ... Establish this Constitution.  Montana 1889, Preamble. We, the people of Montana, grateful to Almighty God for the  blessings of liberty establish this Constitution.  Nebraska 1875, Preamble. We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom ... Establish this Constitution.  Nevada 1864, Preamble. We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom establish this Constitution.  New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V. Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.  New Jersey 1844, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.  New Mexico 1911, Preamble. We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty.  New York 1846, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings.  North Carolina 1868, Preamble. We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those.  North Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain.  Ohio 1852, Preamble. We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common.  Oklahoma 1907, Preamble. Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty ... establish this.  Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I. Section 2. All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences. Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble. We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance.  Rhode Island 1842, Preamble. We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing.  South Carolina, 1778, Preamble. We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.  South Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties. Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience.  Texas 1845, Preamble. We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.  Utah 1896, Preamble. Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution.  Vermont 1777, Preamble. Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man.  Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI. Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other.  Washington 1889, Preamble. We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution.  West Virginia 1872, Preamble. Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God.  Wisconsin 1848, Preamble. We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility. Wyoming 1890, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties ... establish this Constitution.

Words: moke, mook [MW]

Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
1 slang British : DONKEY
2 slang Australian : 1NAG

Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps alteration of moke
slang : a foolish, insignificant, or contemptible person

Email: Chipotle Support

Do you have the free-burrito-for-an-unwrapped-toy promotion in Houston? Your Web site is now so trendy it's useless for finding simple information intuitively.

P.S. OK if I were you, I'd also lose the burp sound effect.